Being Brave

There is a song by Sara Bareilles called Brave (lyrics below)

I’ve have listened to that song so many times.

I had been watching someone teach those lyrics, the meaning of the words for both them and for upwards of a lot of others.

There is a woman who first had to learn how to be brave herself.

That led to strength, then resilience. Became street smart. Selfless and Patient.

But what makes her remarkable isn’t simply that she found those qualities within herself.

It’s what she did with them afterward.

She gave them away.

Over the years, many dozens of people, mostly young women and men, have crossed her path needing someone to listen, because of something they couldn’t always put their finger on, or better yet into words.

Most lacked direction. Some didn’t have the guidance or felt no ability to approach family with such questions. Quite a few were searching for where they fit into this crazy world.

Life can be uncertain and completely full of all the wonder’s a modern-day teen or twenty something could contemplate or get stressed out over.

The late teen might be questioning their own sexuality, or love, why people hate, it could be a career choice, life’s meaning, lack of confidence, or simply a reason to believe their lives could never become more than what they could see at that moment in time.

This woman saw people, all people, really loved them for who they are (and aren’t) and much more importantly, she listened to each one very closely. Much like the Oracle in the Matrix, at the kitchen table, just listening while baking and serving cookies.

As human beings we sometimes need someone else to recognize worth before we could recognize it in ourselves. She raised people’s confidence and sense of self, the personal expectations of multiple dozens of women and men. It has been like watching a master musical producer, multi-instrumentalist and one on one choir conductor. A Jacob Collier if you will. Always with no cost, only love.

Most importantly, she restored something that life has a nasty habit of stealing from people when they are far too young.

Human dignity.

We often hear the old adage “it takes a village to raise a child”.

I’ve come to think that collectively we can misunderstand the circumstances of the common village. The villagers can be nice yet have their own bias, or racism, or speak in ways that cut just as deeply as a knife.

A true village isn’t a collection of houses with people in them. It is a loving elder or oracle who has lived enough life to collect wisdom and recognize the road ahead. The people who understand that their accumulated- street- smarts- intelligence carries an obligation. The leaders who don’t need a title before they’ll lead.

Someone has to notice, and they have to listen.

This person did just that - to be willing to say, you are better than what you currently believe about yourself.

There was never any insistence from her about what you have to do with the doors that lie ahead, those are for you to choose which to be walking through.

That’s the village elder in action. Helping you to answer your own questions that you seek.

The singer songwriter Sara B asks us to imagine what might happen if we stopped hiding, let the light in, spoke the truth, and showed just how “big our brave” could be.

I’ve watched the answer unfold one soul at a time for a few decades.

I have watched bravery pass directly from one human being into another. I’ve watched confidence replace uncertainty. Direction replaces wandering. Possibility replaces resignation. Effort turning into amazing careers. Life’s blooming like a flower right in front of me.

Dozens of lives, many different stories.

All touched by one woman who learned how to be brave, and then quietly spent most of her adult life teaching other people how to find their own version of brave.

That woman is my wife of nearly forty years. I could not be prouder and more fortunate to have her in my life. She is my hero and this is my ode to mama Sue.

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Artist is Sara Bareilles / Song is “Brave” / Album is “The Blessed Unrest”

You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love

Or you can start speaking up

Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do

When they settle 'neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes a shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you

(Refrain) Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out Honestly, I wanna see you be brave. With what you want to say and let the words fall out Honestly, I wanna see you be brave…. I just wanna see you, I just wanna see you, I just wanna see you, I wanna see you be brave

Everybody's been there,

Everybody's been stared down

By the enemy

Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing

Bow down to the mighty

But don't run, stop holding your tongue

Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in

Show me how big your brave is

(Refrain)

Innocence, your history of silence

Won't do you any good

Did you think it would?

Let your words be anything but empty

Why don't you tell them the truth?

(Refrain)